losing YOU in being “MOM”

First off let me start by saying HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

I know I’ve been trippin lately and completely slacked with the posting, but it’s definitely time for me to start back!! 2019 WILL be an amazing year, I’m claiming it for everyone!

mom

“Mom” a title that comes with so much joy, pain, laughter, bliss and any other emotion you can possibly think of. It’s also a very demanding role. One that starts to consume you in ways you never thought imaginable. Well at least that was the case for me. I became a mother fairly young, younger than I could, or would, ever want to see my daughter become one. However I know my struggle is one that is felt young or old, that sense of losing your true identity once you become a mother.

For me this is something I didn’t even noticed sadly until a couple of months ago. I remember when I had my first son (second child) my mother would say, there will come a time you will need a break. I looked at her as if she was crazy. For me being a mother was a thought that I had to devote every waking minute into my children and even once I had a second to myself I was thinking about how to be a better mom. It was never-ending. It wasn’t until recently when I looked at myself and said ” Damn who are you now”. literally like I was Deja before them, how am I just mom now. Now don’t get me wrong being a mother is the single most glorifying and loving thing to me, however you have to understand. When I say I poured everything into my kids, I went more than 9 years without 1 single night away. That was until I had the revelation and said, I AM ENOUGH and I give them enough. It’s ok for me to be tired, its ok for me to want a break!!!

I took the initiative and booked me a hotel room for one night away. My first night away in way to long. I made sure I booked the room and paid for it in full so I couldn’t even cancel. My husband and I decided to go together, him knowing full well this -Is mainly my night- so don’t bother me to much lol. Well of course murphy’s law had to bud in, and BOTH my kids ended up with the flu. I’d be damned, but I couldn’t cancel and was pushed by my mother to go anyway, and I had to force myself to realize, she raised me even through sicknesses and everything so they should be ok as well. After my 24hr stay-cation it felt AMAZING!!

Now I know this is not a journey that is easy, especially for the mothers who are invested so deep into giving our children 100 percent of ourselves but mama WE HAVE TO MATTER AS WELL!!!!! I started giving myself 1 hr a day to do whatever I so please. I know it doesn’t sound like much but you have to understand, I home school and everything so the children are with me all day everyday. It’s important for them to see mommy doing mommy as well. For years my daughter use to say “mom we have enough buy yourself something or do something for you” now I can say I actually am. Without guilt I started shopping for myself because let’s be honest these children have EVERYTHING so why was I even feeling this way to begin with. I guess it’s just one of those unspoken mom things that take over us, some of us that is! 

pour
So today I say for all of the truly dedicated mommy’s out there, give yourself 1 hr, do some self-care, read a book, take a bath, something, anything to make yourself remember that if you can’t take care of yourself than you’re not as good to them either! 

WE MATTER 💜

 

2 thoughts on “losing YOU in being “MOM”

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  1. Awesome! I felt like this before and recently found myself as well! But dedicating time for myself allows me to be a better mom to them. You’re doing an amazing job!!!

    Liked by 1 person

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